Sometimes you wonder if you can make it through the next hour, much less the day. I understand, because the struggle is real and it is hard. I want to provide some help for parents with an ADHD child. It’s not a secret, but we get so overwhelmed with teaching them to be self-controlled, self sufficient, kind mini-adults that we forget what is most important. The loving and kind side of parenting.
Put out more effort.
You’re just being lazy.
Why do I have to yell at you?
We’ve all been there. As parents of ADHD children, this is our mantra. We repeat these words over and over again on a daily basis. Then we start to wonder….and realize….this is the only words we say to our kids. Throw in a hug, kiss and “l love you!” before bed, but at the end of the day, the only other words they hear from us is complaining, fussing, irritation, and anger. I’m embarrassed and ashamed. I hate revealing that to you about myself, but it’s the sad truth.
But the good news is, I turned it around. I try everyday to be better. To be more positive. To be more supportive and to build them up. To nurture their self-esteem instead of contributing to breaking it down. The world will do that often enough without adding on too.
Now, I pick my battles with the kids. If they don’t wash and rinse their hair perfectly, there’s always tomorrow….and it’s summer after all. If the toilet seat doesn’t get put down, I grit my teeth, and avoid their bathroom. I look for positives, like “Great job finding your shoes!”, or “I’m proud of you for being self-sufficient and getting your own fork”. When they are super busy, with lots of excess energy, I ask them to take Jaxon for a walk. And then I thank them for helping me out by taking him for a walk.
The honest truth is, they may be super busy, tons of energy, talk non-stop, can hyper-focus on what they enjoy, but can’t remember their math facts, it all has a purpose. They aren’t broken. They are brilliant and they probably inherited it from you.
If you still think they are broken, let me remind you, the people below all have/had ADHD:
Justin Timberlake – Singer, Actor, Entertainer
Thomas Edison – Inventer
Will Smith – Rapper, Actor, Entertainer
Michael Phelps – Olympian – most decorated Olympian in history
Abraham Lincoln – US President
Agatha Christie – Author
Albert Einstein – Physicist
Bill Gates – Founder of Microsoft
Frank Lloyd Wright – Architect
Henry Ford – Founder of Ford Motor Company
Mark Twain – author
Michael Jordan – professional Basketball player
Richard Branson – Founder of Virgin Records
Robert Frost – Poet
Vincent Van Gogh – Artist
Ty Pennington – Reality TV star
Salma Hayek – Actress
Terry Bradshaw – Professional Football Player
How do you praise and motivate your kids? How do you help them realize their truly unique character and celebrate it? I would love to hear from you to get your opinion.
The video below I found on Facebook and it moved me. I wanted to share it with you.
This Post Has 2 Comments
Thank you! You are correct, many kids can benefit from games and intereactions they find interesting. Wish more school implemented this technique. You are brilliant and a great mom for incorporating into everyday activities. Best of luck to you and your family on the other side of the pond. Paris sounds wonderful…I’ve never visited, but want to one day.
Thank you for writing your point of view about ADHD, my brother (who is 10 years younger than me) was diagnosed with ADHD when he was a child, since then they treated him with so many pills and every new medicine in the market.
To tell the truth, I found school so boring, so it was just obvious some children can’t stay focus.
To sit down… for HOURS in front of an adult who talks about things you don’t really care was a great challenge.
When my brother got to a special school for kids like him, he was doing much better. The difference was, that the teachers in there just play with the kids all day with educational games/ toys. And he just LOVED IT!!
We also have an 11 years old boy who doesn’t suffer from ADHD, but I’m using the “game technic” wherever I can. To put shoes on before we go out, I’m telling him to get ready and wait for me next to the door, then we compete who is faster.
He needs some help with his English (he’s French), so after dinner, we play a game with his father, I’m using a word in English and the first one who finds the translation in French win a point.
We just play fun games all day, so he doesn’t even notice we’re doing homework 🙂 lol
Best of luck & love from Paris